Mommy guilt

Jace and Bella left yesterday to go spend a few days with Mimi and Papa in Flatonia at the farm. They are spending 3 nights there, the most they have ever spent away from me. When Mom first brought up the idea, I was a bit nervous. I spend every day with them and it's hard for me to be away from them. But, they love to go and I want them to have that time with their grandparents. I can remember how much fun I had as a child, spending the night with my grandparents. I remember riding the go cart at the Gaeke's and playing in the green house at the Ehler's. I really loved those times. I remember climbing trees, playing with my cousins and giggling into the wee hours of the night (well, maybe until 11 :)). This is night 2, and I am having guilt about enjoying my time away from them. Today it was just Brenlie and I. I haven't had just one child all day in a couple of years, and it was so quiet and calm. When Bren slept, I was able to get some things done that I've been wanting to do for a while. Of course, I think about Jace and Bella a LOT, but I'm not as sad as I thought I would be. I know that doesn't make me a bad mom; it just feels weird not to be crying and depressed like I somehow imagined I would be. I remember the first time that Jace was going to spend the night with Nanny and Papa. I was so anxious about it. We dropped him off, I put on my brave face and then bawled when we got home. I made it to about 10 p.m. and couldn't take it anymore. We had to go pick him up. Fast forward 2 more kids and 4 years later, and I'm an old pro, I guess. I think it just makes me realize that they aren't babies anymore and there will be more and more times they are away from me. That saddens me. Jace begins Kindergarten in the fall. That seems unreal to me. Bella will go to MDO 2 days a week. It will be just Bren and I a lot of the time. I do enjoy my one on one time with Bren. She definitely doesn't get that when the other 2 are around. I could tell today she was loving it. She was very playful and kissing on me. It was a great day.
Now sitting here, at 10:30 p.m., I know that my kiddos are hopefully asleep 2 1/2 hours away. And, yet, no tears. I guess I'm growing up, too.