Parenting

I began my discussion on parenting in the last post, and want to continue to write about it. When I wrote my last post I was having one of "those days." You know, the kind where you just want to lock the kids in a closet, smoke a cigarette or drink some wine and go to bed. Today was better. That's how it goes. Some days I really want to go back to work outside the home. Then, days like today, I think, "Hey, this isn't so bad." I'm having a tough time with Bella. I don't know who made up the expression terrible 2's, but it should really be the terrible 3's. There is some magical switch that flips when they turn 3. They suddenly start whining a lot, getting an attitude (especially if they are a girl) and just trying out their wings. Bella is such a cool kid. She is amazing. I've never seen a kid that is so comfortable in their own skin. She is totally okay with herself. But, here lately is she is really pushing my buttons. She is potty trained now (HOORAY for only one in diapers now!) but still has the occasional accidents. But, if you know Bella, you know that they probably aren't accidents. What I mean is, I swear that kid does it on purpose. She will come to me, smiling, and say "I pee-peed in my panties" and look at me like, "What are you going to do about it?" It's like she is testing me. I get so mad. That's probably why she does it LOL! She doesn't like to give kisses or hugs. She is VERY girly. She loves to paint her nails and wear her hair down. She is beautiful, but doesn't know it yet. I adore her and want to spank her little booty all at the same time. The other day, she was really cranky because she hadn't had enough sleep. She wanted a piece of gum (her latest obsession) and I told her no because it was time to eat. She screamed she wanted gum and I screamed back no. She then hit me square in the face with a toy plane she had in her hand. I was so mad. I got up and spanked her hard on the butt twice. She started to cry and Alex came in asking what happened. I walked off to cool down and he took over. I felt bad about spanking her so hard. My hand stung, so I know her butt did too. After I cooled off, I went to her room, where she was in the bed, having a time out. Did I find a crying, upset child who was ready to apologize and let Mommy get out her guilt about the spanking? Um, no. I laid down beside her and was almost in tears with guilt. I said, "Bella I'm sorry I spanked you, baby." She got the biggest grin on her face and said, "I like your glasses Mommy." I said, "Thanks. But, listen to me." Bella: "I like your earrings Mommy. Oh, you don't have any earrings on. I like your shirt." God help me with this one.